Facebook Stupidly Disabled Thousands of Valid Profiles

On January 22, just before 9 p.m. CST, users across the globe were logged out from the social media app Facebook at the same time, prompting a flurry of activity and complaints on the popular platform. Facebook blamed this worldwide logout that affected millions on a “configuration change,” which is another way of saying “one of our engineers click the wrong button and almost deleted the internet, oops.”

Despite the comforting appearance of this Tweet, literally nothing was resolved for folks who were unable to log in again, and it makes no mention of the actual reason behind the mass logout.

Most Facebook users were able to log right back in and get back to watching kiddie porn, alleviating some concerns investors may have had in the credibility, safety and security of the Big Tech giant. But there is a large group of people who are still unable to access Facebook due to the dreaded “configuration change,” and their cries are falling on deaf ears.

Not being able to access your Facebook account can cause stress, depression, heart palpitations, anger, emotional outbursts, insomnia, disturbed sleep, strained interpersonal relationships, loss of appetite, inability to relax, heartburn, nausea, vomiting, upset stomach, feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, anal leakage, confusion, increased arousal, inability to concentrate, lack of motivation, sleepiness, weight gain, increased activity, and other side effects.

A trending hashtag on Twitter, #facebookdisabledme, is bringing to light the thousands of active, valid, wholesome profiles were systematically permanently disabled from the platform due to their stupid configurations. Sweet grandmothers, Christian youth pastors, dog moms, and and gamer guys alike were unceremoniously kicked off Facebook on Friday and were told that they committed “community standards violations” that warranted their account being disabled. Users are not given the option to request a review or download their personal data.

Kevin followed every step provided and is unable to recover his account and is not given any reason why. Kevin has had enough.

Facebook algorithms are notorious for being inept, but the glitches on Friday take incompetence one step further than anyone thought possible. “It is clear that whoever is responsible for these stupid configurations has no idea how actual people interact with one another or how words are used,” a source close to the situation told TPGS. “I’m beginning to wonder if the folks who work for Facebook understand how Facebook works.”

We asked an expert to weigh in on the situation. Blasko Smith Cline, PhD is a social media algorithm expert and Facebook configuration theorist, and he thinks he knows what happened. “What happened is, whoever wrote the code was an idiot, and they did it wrong.”

Actual photo of a Facebook engineer configuring the algorithms to remove quiet Christian mothers from Facebook.

There has been no comment by Facebook.

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