Can Groundhog Predictions Be Trusted? The Science of Groundhog Day.

Groundhogs are known for their extreme psychic abilities on Groundhog Day. But what is the actual science behind their psionic prognostication?

Every year on February 2nd, groundhogs across the world embark on the task of making the most accurate weather predictions known to science. Hundreds of spectators gather at Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to await the emergence of a groundhog named Phil on what has become known as Groundhog Day. Phil is arguably the most famous groundhog in the world, but he is just one of thousands of clairvoyant groundhogs across the globe who are wowing us with their abilities.

The prophecies made by clairvoyant groundhogs in February of each are eagerly anticipated by citizens all over the world who want to plan and prepare their weather-appropriate wardrobes six weeks in advance. Most people trust the weather predictions from groundhogs because for as long as anyone can remember, the predictions have been accurate. Scary accurate.

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The Society of Clairvoyant Groundhogs (SCG), est. 1887, has strict rules that govern the psionic limits for groundhogs, including guidelines for spring weather condition predictions. The practical rules for using psychic powers to predict spring weather conditions state that if the clairvoyant groundhog sees his shadow and returns to his phrontistery, he has predicted six more weeks of winter. If the groundhog does not see his shadow and pandiculates calmly instead of returning to his phrontistery, he has predicted an early spring.

All clairvoyant groundhogs are required to follow the rules that govern psionic limits.

It should be noted that Balzac Billy is actually just a man in a groundhog costume, not an actual groundhog, and his weather predictions should be ignored when considering the prophesies from clairvoyant groundhogs.

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Paranormal and psychic phenomena in groundhogs is well-rooted in history, dating date back to at least 1884 when a group of gardeners in Punxatawney were questioned as to why their crops were more bountiful and more beautiful than any other farmers at the market. The gardeners revealed to the town that they had discovered a psionic groundhog who was aerating and fertilizing the soil on their land and advising them on the best places to plant their crops. The actions of the groundhog provided the farmers with the healthiest and most abundant crops they had ever seen.

The farmers also revealed to the townspeople that the groundhog was not just using its powers to help them plant their seeds in the best places, but that it was actually predicting the weather and increasing their yield. People realized at that time how beneficial groundhogs are, not only to the farming industry, but for predicting weather events.

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Many farmers today depend on groundhogs exclusively to ensure high crop yields and healthy flowers and fruits. It is not unusual to see a groundhog tending to a garden, aerating the soil, digging rows, or planting seeds. Farmers try to protect their groundhogs from predators and thieves–fencing is used to keep groundhogs safe and contained inside the gardens they tend.

Aside from spring weather conditions, what other predictions are these clairvoyant groundhogs making? Groundhogs are said to have predicted the 9/11 terrorist attacks in New York City, the water crisis in Flint, and the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Lottery winner Clementine Fit of Austin, Texas claims she received the winning numbers from a clairvoyant groundhog she saw in a visionary encounter. Statisticians employed by the NFL are even turning to clairvoyant groundhogs for help calculating each team’s playoff chances next year.

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The evidence seems clear: groundhogs can be trusted. But how can we be sure?

“Groundhogs tend to be emotionally sensitive, and are also very perceptive animals. It’s suggested that they are biologically equipped with psychic ability,” groundhog scientist Rob Bull told IFLScience. “Through research, we’ve determined that groundhogs are probably equipped with tiny sensors in their brains that give them the ability not just to predict the weather, but to see the future.”

Scientists have already done a series of tests on the clairvoyant groundhogs, and have several more planned. “We are considering doing an experiment where the groundhogs wear 3D glasses,” Bull explained. “It will help us understand if they see things differently than we do, and also might determine if they see in different dimensions.”

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