What Dried Up Lake Poopo? Scientists Are Zeroing In On A Cause.

Lake Poopo, famous for being the largest lake in Bolivia after Titicaca, has suddenly dried up,  science research has discovered. The devastating impact from the total evaporation of this popular lake for locals and tourists alike has prompted the Bolivian government to declare it a “disaster zone.” Scientists are trying to figure out what happened, and how to prevent it from happening again.

The survival of many indigenous people in this area have depended on the food and water provided by Lake Poopo. Many people are being forced to relocate their families to survive. A Uro and local fisherman, whose livelihood depends on the fish provided by the lake, said “There should be some rain. But that’s not happening. So we are going to head to the islands of Lake Titicaca, because there is still water there. Not enough is being done by the Andean government to help us. We asked for rain, and we didn’t get it. So I’m not surprised this happened.”

Other local fisherman were surprised to find the lake just disappeared underneath them. A Quechua fisherman said “I was fishing, not having much luck, when I started to get a sinking feeling. I also heard a draining sound. Before I knew it, the lake was gone.”

It may not be all bad for the fisherman, though. “The cabins at Titicaca are a little nicer, and I also heard you can rent scooters to get around the island more efficiently,” the Quechua fisherman said.

The big question that scientists and researchers at top research institutes across the globe are trying to answer now is “what happened?” Some of the preliminary guesses from the less educated indigenous people have pointed the finger at climate change. They claim that climate change has caused the water to evaporate faster, but climate change isn’t real, so that doesn’t make sense.

Other theories from people who have no idea what they are talking about revolve around the cycles of El Niño and La Niña, which sounds like a great theory, but it ignores a few core issues.

One of those core issues is “solar panels.” The top theory that makes sense, and the one and researchers are currently mostly in agreement with, is the “solar panel theory.” The greenhouse effect of the atmosphere is holding heat in, as it is intended to do, but the extra heat created by solar panels is causing a problem.

“I believe that solar panels are creating a perpetual circle of madness that slowly baked Lake Poopo away,” Dr. Reginald James said. “Solar junkies are assaulting the human race by slowly baking us to death, and this is an example of that.”

Another core issue has a viable theory that is now is gaining traction among some of the most respected scientists in the world. It has a lot of science to back it up, and some of the best research behind it. Ugandan pastor Martin Ssempa has been lecturing people for years with dramatic and sensational presentations telling people to “Eat Da Poopo.”

A successful hypnotist for many years, Ssempa was able to convince people who attended his seminars that they should “eat da Poopo” with his soothing voice and through the use of guided imagery. One person who attended a lecture said “He is a very complelling person, and the images he showed us made me want to do nothing but eat da poopo. It’s all I can think about now.”

Ssempa’s tireless crusade, it is believed, caused a mass influx of people to Lake Poopo who then consumed all the water and ate all of the fish, perhaps in a state of hypnosis. That could explain the draining sound heard by some fisherman in the area. Scientist Joseph Skatt said that sound could be explained by this theory. “We think if they drank the water from the lake with straws, it could make that sound.”

Researchers will continue to try to find a cause for this, but in the meantime, local residents are suffering from the lack of water and fish that they are used to getting from Lake Poopo, as well as the effect it is having on property values in the area. It is also expected to have a devastating affect on the tourism industry, though no one can be sure how bad it will be until the holiday season arrives at Lake Poopo.

“I don’t know what we are going to do for fun this season,” New York resident Charles Weatherspoon lamented. “I guess if they don’t fix it in time, we can go to the Hamptons instead, but I’d rather got to Lake Poopo.”