Samsung Galaxy A 2017 Series will be water resistant, may still explode

Samsung is starting off the new year with a bang, minus the third degree burns we have come to expect. With the announcement of three new phone releases for 2017, Samsung is really counting on the fact that there is someone out there stupid enough to buy another Samsung phone.

The mid-range Galaxy A 2017 series includes the A3, the A5 and the A7. The phones are similarly constructed, using aluminum and glass backs, and contain many of the same features, such as water resistance, fingerprint scanners, and Micro SD card slots. Samsung representatives were documented as stating the phones were “on fire,” and had the potential to be “the hottest phones on the market.”

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The Galaxy A 2017 series includes the A3, A5 and A7. The A4 and A6 apparently exploded during product testing and were not released.

The A7 is the premium device out of the three, with a 5.7 FHD AMOLED display (1080×1920), an undefined 1.9GHz octa-core processor, 3GB RAM, and a 16 megapixel camera. It is water and explosion resistant, although it should be noted that it is not explosion-proof. It can and probably will still explode. On the other end of the scale is the A3, a lower end model that also has a built-in alarm designed to alert the user when the phone catches fire.

“We made the devices water resistant for a variety of reasons, but the main reason is so that you can throw your phone into the water when it catches fire,” a Samsung spokesperson said. “That’s going to be the fastest way to put the fire out. Even with the built-in alarm system, it’s gonna take the fire department like 3-6 minutes to get to you, depending on where you are. Your best bet is to toss it in the nearest body of water.”

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The colors and design of the new Samsung Galaxy A series are so beautiful, many people have forgotten that Samsung phones explode in your hand.

The phones come Black Sky, Gold Sand, Blue Mist, and Peach Cloud. They will be available first in Russia in early January so Samsung can see how many Russians they can kill before unleashing the new phones to global markets.

Phone Specifications:

GALAXY A5

Network: LTE Cat.6 * May differ by markets and mobile operators
Display: 5.2” FHD Super AMOLED
AP: 1.9GHz Octa Core
OS: Android 6.0.16 (Marshmallow)
Camera: Rear : 16MP (F1.9), Front : 16MP (F1.9)
Video: MPEG4, H.265(HEVC), H.264(AVC), H.263, VC-1, MP43, WMV7, WMV8, VP8, VP9
Audio: MP3, AAC LC/AAC+/eAAC+,AMR-NB, AMR-WB, WMA, FLAC, Vorbis, Opus
Additional features: MST technology(Samsung Pay), Samsung KNOX, S-Voice, Dual SIM option
* Samsung Pay launches may vary by market-readiness
Connectivity: Wi-Fi 802.11 a/b/g/n/ac, Bluetooth® v 4.2, ANT+, USB Type-C, NFC (UICC, eSE)
Sensor: Accelerometer, Proximity, Geomagnetic, RGB Light, Hall Fingerprint scanner, Barometer
IP Code: IP68
Memory: 3GB RAM + 32GB Storage, Micro SD slot (up to 256GB)
Dimension: 146.1 x 71.4 x 7.9mm
Battery: 3,000mAh, Fast Charging

GALAXY A5

Network: LTE Cat.6 * May differ by markets and mobile operators
Display: 5.2” FHD Super AMOLED
AP: 1.9GHz Octa Core
OS: Android 6.0.16 (Marshmallow)
Camera: Rear : 16MP (F1.9), Front : 16MP (F1.9)
Video: MPEG4, H.265(HEVC), H.264(AVC), H.263, VC-1, MP43, WMV7, WMV8, VP8, VP9
Audio: MP3, AAC LC/AAC+/eAAC+,AMR-NB, AMR-WB, WMA, FLAC, Vorbis, Opus
Additional features: MST technology(Samsung Pay), Samsung KNOX, S-Voice, Dual SIM option
* Samsung Pay launches may vary by market-readiness
Connectivity: Wi-Fi 802.11 a/b/g/n/ac, Bluetooth® v 4.2, ANT+, USB Type-C, NFC (UICC, eSE)
Sensor: Accelerometer, Proximity, Geomagnetic, RGB Light, Hall Fingerprint scanner, Barometer
IP Code: IP68
Memory: 3GB RAM + 32GB Storage, Micro SD slot (up to 256GB)
Dimension: 146.1 x 71.4 x 7.9mm
Battery: 3,000mAh, Fast Charging

GALAXY A3

Network: LTE Cat.6 * May differ by markets and mobile operators
Display: 4.7” HD Super AMOLED
AP: 1.6GHz Octa Core
OS: Android 6.0.16 (Marshmallow)
Camera: Rear : 13MP (F1.9), Front : 8MP (F1.9)
Video: MPEG4, H.265(HEVC), H.264(AVC), H.263, VC-1, MP43, WMV7, WMV8, VP8, VP9
Audio: MP3, AAC LC/AAC+/eAAC+,AMR-NB, AMR-WB, WMA, FLAC, Vorbis, Opus
Additional features: MST technology(Samsung Pay), Samsung KNOX, S-Voice, Dual SIM option
* Samsung Pay launches may vary by market-readiness
Connectivity: Wi-Fi 802.11 a/b/g/n/ac, Bluetooth® v 4.2, ANT+, USB Type-C, NFC (UICC)
Sensor: Accelerometer, Proximity, Geomagnetic, RGB Light, Hall, Fingerprint Scanner, Barometer
IP Code: IP68
Memory: 2GB RAM + 16GB Storage, Micro SD slot (up to 256GB)
Dimension: 135.4 x 66.2 x 7.9mm
Battery: 2,350mAh

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2 thoughts on “Samsung Galaxy A 2017 Series will be water resistant, may still explode

  1. Cellular chips RFID your brain type and microwave the offending lobe, which is why Americans are voting so dumb. Forget hoverboards, cellular are political execution drones! Cellphones and laptops are not allowed – no exceptions, Elon Musk. They may be the latest fad but they are not safe because they have the potential to catch fire. Yapple was founded by Arabs and run by fags. So this is the famous “Irish Miracle”? Another drunkard grifter scam turning Ireland into tax haven to screw America? This is why Ulster must join Scotland and the Anglosphere must foil the Carolingian EU of Bonaparte, Heidler, Adenauer, Schumann, Degaulle, Galtieri! Yapple was founded by Arabs and run by fags. Fags is what you get when drunken Irish molest their kids. Arabs is where Irish banks make their money funding terrorists who used to work with the IRA.

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